strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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