my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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