im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
