I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
