I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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