Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
