12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
no you cant smoke seaweed
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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