So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
