these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
