is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
