Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
