lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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