Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
