i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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