dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
