I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize