Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
