So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
