You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
