So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
