I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
