I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
