Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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