haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
