you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
