Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
