Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Acid is not a monday night drug
birth control should be required to get into college
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Randomize