hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
