i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
