I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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