dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just tell him i said nine months
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
