remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
