Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
