I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
