I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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