We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize