Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I wish life had little blips of pornography
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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