Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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