We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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