just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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