i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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