she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
