your thong is hanging out like whoa
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
