Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
