I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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