Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
