well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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