you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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