Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
