SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
