I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
