i can't believe i had my finger in that
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
