"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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