I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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