You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
