Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
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