Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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