IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize